Fr. Mark Underdahl
Something extraordinary took place this past week under very unfortunate and tragic circumstances. Let me give you the story.
Growing up in my family we did not take part in verbal or physical exchanges of affection. It never crossed my mind that my family didn't love me, we just didn't express it. When I had my children I made a decision that I would tell them everyday that I loved them and that we would exchange a kiss or hug whenever possible. I wanted them to be comfortable make these exchanges. As my children have grown I have seen the progression of this decision. When my children approached the age of 10 they were embarrassed to be kissing their mom, especially if anyone what going to witness the act. Never uncomfortable to utter the words "I love you", but would avoid the kisses, hugs and holding hands whenever they could. I have also spent 18 years telling my children that these exchanges are essential because if something ever happened to either of us we did not want to be sad for the rest of our lives because we did not take the time to express our love for each other.
On Wednesday, I sat between my two oldest children in church. We were attending the funeral of the mother of my son's best friend. Her death was unexpected and sudden. As our hearts were heavy for the family, we listened attentively as people spoke about this exceptional woman. This woman welcomed my son and others into her home regularly, provided direction, entertainment and more than a few meals. My son was so sad and I assumed it was for his friends sorrow and his own personal loss of a woman he thought very highly of.
After the mass, I went home to help my son pack up for his drive back to Michigan. And as he was leaving I uttered the words I always do when my children and I are going to be separated for a period of time, "No one will ever love you as much as your mom does". And as I said the familiar words he hugged me longer than he had in years. As I watched him pull away I realized that all those years of me telling him the importance of expressing our love had come full circle and he "got it".
Wishing you many moments of laughter with your family.
K
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